Dear Santa Claus,
Stay the fuck away from my house you child-raping, pedophilic, people watching freak.
I know the truth about you man, you pretend to be this jolly ole man who just wants to bring hapiness to all the little children of the world. And I agree with that image, don’t get me wrong, just not the way the rest of the world does. You see, the truth about you is you are one sick old pervert. You enjoy sneaking into people’s houses in the dead of night “bringing them presents” and watching them, just watching us all year round. That is sick man! It’s called stalking! (Which by the way I’ve noticed is what you call those retarded little socks people hang ‘round their chimney so you can leave them a little ‘present’ in there, if you know what I mean.)
You are a liar you know? I mean not that I really give a shit about that but I do give a shit about a freaky ole man stalking me all year long and “watching me while I sleep”. Fuck you. You pretend to stuff all you presents for all the children in the world in that small sack you carry around, well I know where you really stuff that shit man…that’s right, down by the south pole.
The only thing I admire about you is you have 8 freaking reindeer as you slaves! And a whole shitload of little dwarf people working their asses off for you while you just sit back, stuff your face and enjoy ole Mrs. Claus…That’s nice boy, that’s nice.
Signed,
Vernon ‘Get the fuck away from me’ Little
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment